For the past 13 years my career as a writer has focused primarily on writing about dating, family, and maintaining healthy women relationships. All I do is completely what I do.
I get to explore frequently with professionals and clinicians how to strengthen the connections that matter and strategically pry into the marriages of people in order to seek out and demonstrate their most notable successes and epiphanies.
I carefully write about those special moments— big or small, heartwarming or heartbreaking— that form and describe a story of love. If I write about marriage, I do it for those reading through the prism of the experiences the pair has experienced and the takingaways.
I didn’t count, but if I had to estimate, I ‘d say I’ve met and written about over 400 people, most of whom are female, regarding their special journeys across marriages.
Nobody had ever questioned me about my own marriage before recently, or asked my husband and I the kinds of tough questions that never receive quick or easy responses. Next I encountered freelance writer Alix Strauss from NYTimes who talks about the wildly popular column It’s No Surprise of the paper, and we had to chat about love trials and tribulations.
We explored how I met my husband, what he and I had done before we tied the knot in 2010 and why we decided to renew our vows abruptly in August 2019. Why we had agreed to renew our vows abruptly in August 2019, a year sooner than our initial 10-year target. For her column she asked if we would share our experience.
We took some time to deliberate and ended up deciding.
If I could trick countless other people in allowing me to express their realities for the greater good, I wondered, why can’t I do the same? And we went for it and we didn’t hold back on the truth that was blunt.
When the essay ran for the first time in January, our friends and family, and a nation full of complete strangers reading the Sunday Times, heard that 16 years after the day we first came to me, my husband and I are quiet warriors who, through some obstacles and challenges along the way, are still much in love and happier together because of what we have endured.
Of example, when you share vows on your wedding day, you say those terms, but at that point in time you have no idea how and when you will have to enforce them, and how they will be checked. We couldn’t have predicted that my husband, spending just four months apart from his brother and best friend, would push him to his lowest point, or that he would have difficulty finding his way out.
Then I couldn’t make out that I would have to put the light on the way for us to go forward because the light in his eyes would go out momentarily. I talked about the power of your partner fighting when they can’t fend for themselves any more. We agreed to move on with all of our facts, no cuts, until our discussions with The Times.
Already, after reading the sincere responses that we have gotten (and are still receiving) from so many people, I am sure that it was the right decision and the right time to share. We also supported people who have found themselves on an unwelcome emotional detour and need confidence that a new and better path is taking place.
I’ve got the most amazing thank you notes from the ladies I’ve been to— caring more for their husbands than they are praying for themselves and preferring happiness even when it seemed like the least choice available. I’ve been considering divorce but now I know it’s only a tough spot, it’s not the peak, one woman from across the nation said.
You two are living proof that even after anything fearful love can still be sweet and perfect,said another. Only hold the letters and the updates flowing. I weep and grin as I drink in each of these emotions. I am so glad that being honest with our feelings can have a meaningful effect on the experiences of others.
A lady who knew she was frequenting the location where my husband works after reading the article actually came there just to meet him in person and to compliment us both on our performance.
She had been waiting nearly an hour to see him.